A Beautiful Kind of Hope (A Beautiful Kind of Series Book 1) Read online

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Epilogue

  Playlist

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  A Beautiful Kind of Hope

  a beautiful kind of series Book 1

  Cathy Johns

  Published by Cathy Johns

  Copyright © 2017 by Cathy Johns

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this publication may be produced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, expect in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  The scanning, uploading, and/or distribution of this document via the internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and is punishable by law.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be constructed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  The author acknowledges all songs titles, song lyrics, film titles, mentioned in this book are the property of, and belong to, their respective owners.

  Cathy Johns is in no way affiliated with any of the brands, songs, musicians or artists mentioned in this book.

  Cover Designed by

  JC Clarke

  Editing and Proof Reading by

  Shannon Wills

  Formatting by

  JC Clarke

  Disclaimer: This book contains sexually explicit material and is only intended for adult readers!

  This is for everyone who has walked with me through this journey.

  You believed in me and gave me your support when I needed it. Thank you x

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Epilogue

  Playlist

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Hope

  “That was awesome,” Molly says, trying to wrap her arms around the five of us.

  Awesome? There’s nothing awesome about how I dance. This is work, I think to myself.

  “What?” I ask, the minute Molly sees my facial expression.

  “What do you mean what?” she lifts my chin with her index finger. “God, you dance like you’ve been doing this your whole life.” I’m not good when it comes to taking compliments so I try to push away from her arms making her drop the finger that was on my chin.

  Molly is our dance choreographer at the club. She’s been so good to me, to us, and has always behaved like the mothergoose, always having our backs and defending us from the countless men who come to watch us dance most nights while we’re performing. I’ve been working here for a year now and I can attest that I’ve been a fast learner since the beginning, having learned a few moves back in high school when we took salsa classes. I don’t work here because I like it, no. On the contrary, I guess it’s better than having to sleep with different strangers just to make ends meet. In this one-year period, Molly is the best thing that has happened to me ever since she walked into my life. She understands where I’m coming from and yes, she has seen me through some tough times. Tough times I would like to forget but you can’t always hide away from life. It sucks. It fucks you left, right and center and expects you to pick yourself up from where it tossed you at.

  One year ago, I would have told someone they were crazy if they were to introduce me to such a place, but now life is not the way it seems to be or the way I always envisioned it to be. I wanted to finish my studies, get a good job that would enable me to travel the world but that is just a dream. A dream that will never come to pass, I’m a stripper who takes her clothes off for a crowd full of horny men who wish they could have their way with any of us. I don’t get physical with them because that’s not my thing. I try to avoid, as much as I can to have private shows even when the other girls would kill to have them all the time because of the tips and the patrons that end up coming to the club to appease their fantasies.

  I don’t want to have baseless and multiple partners lining up to have a piece of my cherry. I strip to make ends meet. Period. I have a degree in Journalism but it’s useless if you can’t find a job that will cater for your bills. Well, I’m a receptionist during the day at a law firm where I’ve been working for almost four years now and over the weekend I work at the Magic Well. Don’t ask me why they call it that but just like its name; the place is a money well. The patrons who visit the club over the weekends are men and women who talk and others listen. They hold power, but I guess my boss was wise enough to make this place a member’s only club.

  At times, I laugh when I think of money and the things money will make you do just to make ends meet. None of my colleagues at the law firm know about my clandestine activity.

  I didn’t know life would toss me around the way it has since my mother fell ill. She needs me now more than ever as does my baby brother. Michael, he’s the reason for my living. Sometimes I tend to think he’s more of my baby than my baby brother though, for the last five years he’s been calling me his Mama. A name I’ve come to love and a reminder every day that I’m doing what I do for him so he can have a good life and better education, better than I ever had.

  Nineteen years, that’s how old I was when my Mother told me she was pregnant. She didn’t know how it had happened since she knew she was done with having babies. Too much information for a nineteen year olds ears when she told me she forgot to take her pill. She was involved with someone, a man I was yet to meet but due to school, I never got a chance to meet him. Nine months later, boom! My baby brother was born and I couldn’t tear myself from him. Sometimes I wish I knew what she was thinking but she told me she was in
love, in love with someone who left her broken and damaged and beyond repair. I was over the moon having an additional member to our family and I didn’t pay attention to what was becoming of my Mother once my brother was born.

  For five years now, my Mother hasn’t been the same woman she was before she met Charles Hawkins, the man who promised to take care of her and see to it that she’d always be happy now she’s a conflicting image of her old self.

  “Girl, you dance like you own the damn fucking stage.” I hear Molly say snapping me out of my reverie as she hands me a set of nude lingerie. I look at the outfit and then Molly. How in the hell does she expect me to put this on? I prefer the other colors, but this one, it just leaves nothing to the imagination. There’s no difference walking up on stage wearing this and being completely naked.

  “Molly,” I tap on her shoulder before she starts walking away from me. “I can’t wear this tonight.” She gives me a look and I can’t tell what she’s thinking, before I can ponder on it she starts talking.

  “Hope, you know how things work around here. My job is to see that you give the best performance out there and when I choose an outfit, not just for you, but also for the rest,” she says pointing her index finger to the rest of the girls, “It means I’ve already pictured you in it. This…” she says grazing her fingers on the material, “Trust me; you’ll definitely look good in it tonight.”

  “I trust you, Molly,” I say, exhaling slowly.

  I’m here for the money. My family looks up to me to support them and as much as my Mom is in the dark regarding what I do for a living, it’s not like she’ll even remember any of it even if I was to come clean with her. Things changed for her a few months after my brother was born and my Mother started having withdrawals. At first, I thought she was suffering postpartum depression and would come around but when she didn’t, I took it upon myself to take her to see a doctor.

  She’s been taking medication for a couple of years now but her condition keeps deteriorating. Michael automatically became my baby when my mother started becoming complacent. One minute she was sad, crying all the time. She couldn’t even feed or bathe her son and the next minute, she couldn’t remember where she was or who I was.

  My best friend and my Mother is now a shadow of her former self and it breaks my heart to know that half the time she doesn’t recognize me. Alzheimer’s. That’s what the doctors said after being in the dark for three years and marking two years since she’s been under medication. Five years and the woman I call my Mother is someone completely different now.

  I fight the tears threatening to course havoc and force a smile. A smile that I know quite well never reaches my eyes but when I’m out there dancing, strip teasing, I’m a totally different person. I let go of everything, I forget about my pain and just become something else, a butterfly just like my stage name.

  “Good,” Molly smiles. “Today will be a good day Hope. Just do what you’ve been doing and let it rain like hell,” she teases. ‘Let is rain’ is a term Molly uses when she’s talking about a busy night and every person out there is busy doing what they love and the money keeps raining on us.

  “We’ll make it rain, baby.” I wink at her. I’m thankful she took me in when I didn’t know where to start and she made sure I stayed out of trouble.

  Trouble! A small chuckle escapes my mouth. I’m always in trouble every time I step on that stage and start stripping. The men gape at me, taking me in, and I think a few others come in their pants just by looking at my perfect full round breasts with dark hard nipples and my toned mocha skin. For some I know they wish to touch me, some I have to fight the inner me not to break their fingers when I’m performing a lap dance on them and squashing my breasts on their faces, but the lucky ones are the ones who can afford a private show where I make sure they don’t leave the room the same way they came in. I never sleep with them, even the ones who feel like it’s their right to take me home just because they gave me a generous tip.

  I’ve got rules I’ve created for myself. I strip because I need the money. My Mother’s medicine costs a fortune and making sure she doesn’t miss out on any of her appointments with the best neurologist in town. Michael is all I’ve got and a reminder that I need to stay sane even when everything else is falling apart. I made sure to take him to a good school and that’s a relief for me. I’m not rich neither am I poor and I manage with what I can afford. So when I’m working, I draw some line between what is real and what is not. I’ve never had a boyfriend and my purity, I believe it belongs to someone who’s worth it even though it’s hard to believe that at twenty-four I’m still a virgin and I’m going to treasure that until the right man comes my way. I’ll share that with him after letting him know the kind of life I’m living now and the reason I’m doing so.

  An open book.

  “See you at seven,” Molly says wrapping her arms around me and then pats my cheek. It’s only three in the afternoon and I have to go home and prepare myself for the evening while I spend some time with Michael.

  “Seven it is,” I murmur in her ear as I kiss her cheek.

  She starts walking towards the door opening it but comes to a halt before turning to look at me one more time, I wish I could tell what she’s thinking when she gazes at me like that. Her colored hair is in a messy bun on top of her head, I don’t know how she does it but I can attest that the different shades of color in her hair makes her stand out. Molly has never been one to sport the same hairstyle since I got to know her. If it’s not some purple shade, then she has blonde through it. She has blue denim shorts that exposes her long graceful legs, her dark skin glitters from sweat after our dance activity earlier. Her full lips shine from her lip-gloss, she stands three inches taller than me making her five-eight. She’s had her heart torn to pieces by someone she gave her all to and even though I don’t know much about relationships, I believe she deserves someone who’ll treat her like a princess. I look at her waiting, but she doesn’t say anything just simply leaves the room. She closes the door behind her just as the other girls and I start moving about the room. As I get to my locker arranging it, I place the nude lingerie on top of my black silky robe ready to rock this night. I lock my locker as I turn to say my goodbyes to the other girls and head out.

  When I’m outside Magic Well reality creeps in, reminding me of what’s ahead of me. My mother is a shell of the woman she once was and I’d give anything to have her back. To say that I’m hurting is an understatement, what I feel is slowly killing me. I’m broken down, torn to pieces and fighting so I don’t drown though it’s hard to do when your own mother doesn’t recognize you half the time and it hurts like hell. It hurts to know that she no longer recognizes what role I play in her life.